Philosophical Intelligence Office-novel idea! But how did you come to dream that I wanted anything in your absurd line, eh?

Oh, respected sir, from long experience, one glance tells me the gentleman who is in need of our humble services. Our office , founded on principles wholly new-

To the devil with your principles! Bad sign when a man begins to talk of his principles. As for Intelligence Offices, I've lived in the East, and know 'em. Swindling concerns kept by low-born cynics, under a fawning exterior wreaking their cynic malice upon mankind. You are a fair specimen of 'em.

Oh dear, dear, dear!

Machines for me. My cider-mill-does that ever steal my cider? My mowing-machine-does that ever lay a-bed mornings? My corn-husker-does that ever give me insolence? No: cider-mill, mowing-machine, corn-husker-all faithfully attend to their business. Disinterested, too; no board, no wages; yet doing good all their lives long; shining examples that virtue is its own reward-the only practical Christians I know.

Oh dear, dear, dear, dear!

- Herman Me/ville, The Confidence-Man

JOSEPH CIARDIELLO

The B a ffl e r -.Jo' 5