349
The (}ramophone, January, 1926·
What shall we say about the Tcha,ikovsky Fourth Symphony from H.M.V. ~ I know of few more ungrateful tasks than harsh criticism of one of these big orchestral works. But alas, the Fourth Symphony is not a success. There seems to me to be something almost deliberately defiant in choosing this particular work for a symphonic debut in the latest methods of recording. I remember rea,ding once that Tchaikovsky suffered when he was conducting from an uncomfortable delusion that his head was falling off, so much so that be used to think he must hold i t on with his left hand. Well, i f he had listened to these five records, he would have sent out at once for a photographer's rest, a pot of glue, and a solderer. The music itself is a jangle of shattered nerves, and even where there is any attempt to rid the music of the exasperation which sets us on edge the recording steps into the breach and sees that our nerves are not allowed any rest. The Oolumbia Company~ in one of their darkly sibylline allusions to recording developments, speak of a remarkable stereoscopic effect achieved by it. This is at once a singularly happy and unhappy description. Among the perversions of human taste nothing more vile than the stereoscope with i ts dreadful photographs has ever had a vogue. A merely spatial illusion is worse than useless. Who does not know that landsca,pe of battered wedding-cakes labelled the Bernese Oberland ~ Who has not shuddered at those paralysed marionettes in the shadow 01 an elongated band-box, which is labelled Place Vendome ~ We must at once dethrone this stereoscopy at the expense of every thing else, or this is the sort of review you will present,ly be getting in , THE GRAl\iOPHONE : " The latest issue of Beethoven's F~fth Symphony is indeed remarkable for i ts stereo- .
scopic fidelity. The gTeat opening phrase played by t.he hooters is exactly 22 feet 4 inches north-west of the tooth-combs. Incidentally, we should mention that some of the tissue paper issued to the tootheombs is not of the quality we have learnt to associate with this recording company. That, however, is a small matter when we remember the accuracy with which the pizzicato on the corrugated iron makes an angle of exactly 45 0 to the railingrattlers on the north-east slopes of the orchestra. The famous bridge from the scherzo to the finale which has hitherto eluded all the efforts of the recorders comes off splendidly. Every passing bus is a perfect solid. We are not quite sure that .in the Andante the hoops were quite as far away as they ought to have been from the mouth-organs, an extra yard to the left would have made all the difference." Enough! You see the effect on my pen of a stereoscopic Tchaikovsky symphony. Perhaps i t is unfair to trip up the recording companies in the mid-way of their jump, and if I do less than justice to the advance in one direction i t is only because I tremble when I find this. inclination to suppose that a merely stereoscopic effect can possess any value.
I wonder why English composers seem to find i t necessary to sign their music, as i t were, with a t lme they never invented themselves. Gustav Holst, Vaughan Williams, and Delius, all of them, have this habit. I might as well put an ode of Keats in every novel I wrote. It is high t ime that MI'. Holst gave Gt'eensleeves a rest, and equally high t ime that Dr. Vaughan -Williams rested his tune, of the name of which I am unfortunately ignorant. Here i t is again in the Old King Cole Suite issued by Vocalion last month. I feel this music is rather like an academic uncle trying to amuse his nephews-a kind of "eat and drink to-day, for to-morrow I am lecturing again at Oxford." Still, i t's pleasant enough to listen to. I have the same feeling about Ml'. Frank Bridge's arrangement of Sit· Roger ])e Coverley issued by Oolumbia. Itjs too confoundedly self-conscious for my taste, or, to use a simile, i t is, like roast beef in a Soho restaurant.
I have been won<lering when we should get thegreat Prince Igor aria on the gramophone, and herei t is at last sung by Chaliapine. I did not greatly care for it. I have heard Nadejin sing i t a great deal better. I liked Madame Austral's record last month better than a,ny I have heard of hers. Another vocal record which should not be missed is a tenor from Columbia, Mr. W. F. vVatt, whosings quite delightfully a couple of old Irish ballads. The sea-shanties by the De Reszke Quartet from H.lVLV.are splendid, though I don't understand why i t is necessary for the piano to make i tsappearance in the middle of each side of the record. The Aco shanties by John Thorne and trio are not so good, and I wish they wouldn't pronounce Rio Grande as if they were Portuguese seamen. Mr. Goss was the only shanty man who got this right, or, i f you prefer it, rightly wrong. On the other hand, Mr. J. Thorne singing Stlmmenime onBrwZon and By the Wat81'S of Babylon is the best English baritone record I have heard for a long time. Quite charming.
My search for funny records this Christmas has not been a success. About the best of them is a Vocalion record called The Zoo Keeper, a humorous duologue by 'Gene Gerrard and Jack Livesay. l\fonty (Oolumbia) was not so funny as usual, and therecording of his newspaper crackling made me think for a t ime that the motor of the gramophone had gone wrong, which hardly seems a successful effect. The same applies to the snoring which accompanies The Parson's Chr-istmas Address. I ascribed this to the motor, perhaps because I was nearly snoring myself. Any writer will tell you that one of the hardest things ill l i terature is to make a bore unmistakably a bore, but nevertheless amusing topeople who read about him. Jane Austen achieved